2 Nephi 2:11
11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.
As mothers we have a lot of responsibility to take care of our children. Some days it’s really hard and some days it’s the easiest thing we’ve ever done. We often hear things or receive advice or comments from people that we would rather not hear. We wonder why people feel the need to share these little tid bits of love as we are out and about with our kids. Sometimes we smile and nod or give a little pity laugh while we’re thinking “And this is your business because..??” and maybe sometimes we get a little feisty and defend ourselves OR maybe sometimes we are genuinely happy to receive such comments from strangers. For example, the one I hear the MOST…(in my own experience and from the experience of others) is…”Enjoy it now, because you’re going to miss this someday.” Or something along those lines…ever heard this? Ever felt annoyed by this comment? Ever felt like it was a stab to you because you think that whoever is saying it means that you DON’T enjoy your kids? I have. Once or twice. Not too much, but I’ve had friends share this same experience with me.
I think as moms we feel a lot of pressure to be the perfect mom. To always do and say the perfect things. To act in the perfect way. To never lose patience. To enjoy absolutely every second of our children because one day they will grow up and we will miss our babies. But, I’ve been thinking a lot about this scripture. “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” (2 Nephi 2:11) ALL things. There will be good and bad. There will be beautiful moments and not so pretty ones. There will be times when everything seems flawless and times when it all seems completely out of control. I sometimes feel the need to express just how much I love my kids and how incredibly grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for trusting me with his beautiful babies. Almost like I need to defend myself, because maybe once I made one comment about them driving me nuts. But, I don’t need to. Because moms get it. All the other moms out there feel the same way about their own kiddos. That overwhelming sense of love and gratitude for their sweet babes. I read something somewhere once that said all we really have to say is “You’re a mom, you get it.” (Or something like that) SO TRUE. We are moms. We get it. So we don’t need to pretend. We don’t need to try to be perfect, because none of us are. We all have different strengths and weaknesses and that’s OKAY. But we ALL have moments where our kids drive us CRAZY. We all have moments where we want to hide in our closet….and if you haven’t yet…I’m sure you will. 😉 And that’s okay. Because there is opposition in all things.
I have a 2 year old. He is the sweetest, most tender, loving little guy. He repeats everything we say, he says “Hi mom mom” about 27,000 times a day. He never stops talking. He gives me tons of hugs and kisses. He has the cutest voice that I could listen to all day. Except not every day, sometimes I just want him to go to bed. Sometimes I just want it to be quiet for 5 minutes. Does that mean I don’t enjoy him? Absolutely not. I can’t even put into words how much I enjoy him and then there are moments where I can’t put into words how crazy he makes me. But those are just moments and they don’t last. Because he is the best thing that ever happened to me. He made me a mommy. And now I’m like you. The one with the kids that loves them so much you can’t even stand it and the one who sometimes just wants them to GO TO BED. And so in those moments when you are down to your last pair of underwear and you HAVE TO get the laundry done and your 2 year old is nagging you to come help him and your baby won’t stop crying because she needs you to hold her and your husband will be home soon, but then he has to leave right away and you told him you’d have dinner ready, and and and….AGGGHHHH. I think that it’s okay if you don’t enjoy that moment and I also think it’s okay if you look back in 10 years and don’t miss the really hard moments. I will miss my silly, giggly, talkative 2 year old. I will miss his crazy shenanigans. But I’m telling you guys, I won’t miss sleepless nights. I will miss the reason for them…the little boy who just wanted to snuggle me in the middle of the night…but I won’t miss being exhausted all the time or the headaches I get from being so tired. I will miss being woken up to that same cute boy who kept me up, but I won’t miss how hard it is to drag myself out of bed in the morning. I will miss my babies and I will miss these precious moments, but I am human and it is not possible for me to enjoy every single moment of being a mom. And I have a hunch that it’s not possible for you either. So if you ever feel bad because you didn’t enjoy your kids as much as you should have. Don’t. Don’t worry so much about it. Because I know that you love them. Other moms know. And most importantly, Heavenly Father knows…and your kids know. So try not to worry so much when you have those hard moments. Take a small break, in your closet if you have to, and you’ll enjoy the next one. I’m going to try really hard not to be bothered by this comment in the future, because I know that I am enjoying this time in our lives and I know that I am going to miss my sweet babies when they are gone. I know that when I have times that are hard to endure, that there will be better times ahead. The good outweighs the bad in this whole mommy gig. But, there is good…and there is bad. There is opposition in all things.
I promise that I will try to enjoy every moment, even the hard ones, but I also promise to try not to get too down on myself when I don’t. I promise not to think badly of another mom when she says her kids are driving her crazy. Because, I know she loves them.
Heavenly Father loves us. He loves us so much. He knows our hearts. So we don’t need to defend ourselves. Let’s just smile and nod at the strangers with the best intentions. They were there once, they raised kids and they didn’t enjoy every moment…so that’s why they want us to, because they wish they did. So to those lovely strangers, don’t feel so bad that you didn’t. You’re human… and there is opposition.