Opposition

2 Nephi 2:11
11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.

As mothers we have a lot of responsibility to take care of our children. Some days it’s really hard and some days it’s the easiest thing we’ve ever done. We often hear things or receive advice or comments from people that we would rather not hear. We wonder why people feel the need to share these little tid bits of love as we are out and about with our kids. Sometimes we smile and nod or give a little pity laugh while we’re thinking “And this is your business because..??” and maybe sometimes we get a little feisty and defend ourselves OR maybe sometimes we are genuinely happy to receive such comments from strangers. For example, the one I hear the MOST…(in my own experience and from the experience of others) is…”Enjoy it now, because you’re going to miss this someday.” Or something along those lines…ever heard this? Ever felt annoyed by this comment? Ever felt like it was a stab to you because you think that whoever is saying it means that you DON’T enjoy your kids? I have. Once or twice. Not too much, but I’ve had friends share this same experience with me.

I think as moms we feel a lot of pressure to be the perfect mom. To always do and say the perfect things. To act in the perfect way. To never lose patience. To enjoy absolutely every second of our children because one day they will grow up and we will miss our babies. But, I’ve been thinking a lot about this scripture. “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” (2 Nephi 2:11) ALL things. There will be good and bad. There will be beautiful moments and not so pretty ones. There will be times when everything seems flawless and times when it all seems completely out of control. I sometimes feel the need to express just how much I love my kids and how incredibly grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for trusting me with his beautiful babies. Almost like I need to defend myself, because maybe once I made one comment about them driving me nuts. But, I don’t need to. Because moms get it. All the other moms out there feel the same way about their own kiddos. That overwhelming sense of love and gratitude for their sweet babes. I read something somewhere once that said all we really have to say is “You’re a mom, you get it.” (Or something like that) SO TRUE. We are moms. We get it. So we don’t need to pretend. We don’t need to try to be perfect, because none of us are. We all have different strengths and weaknesses and that’s OKAY. But we ALL have moments where our kids drive us CRAZY. We all have moments where we want to hide in our closet….and if you haven’t yet…I’m sure you will. 😉 And that’s okay. Because there is opposition in all things.

I have a 2 year old. He is the sweetest, most tender, loving little guy. He repeats everything we say, he says “Hi mom mom” about 27,000 times a day. He never stops talking. He gives me tons of hugs and kisses. He has the cutest voice that I could listen to all day. Except not every day, sometimes I just want him to go to bed. Sometimes I just want it to be quiet for 5 minutes. Does that mean I don’t enjoy him? Absolutely not. I can’t even put into words how much I enjoy him and then there are moments where I can’t put into words how crazy he makes me. But those are just moments and they don’t last. Because he is the best thing that ever happened to me. He made me a mommy. And now I’m like you. The one with the kids that loves them so much you can’t even stand it and the one who sometimes just wants them to GO TO BED. And so in those moments when you are down to your last pair of underwear and you HAVE TO get the laundry done and your 2 year old is nagging you to come help him and your baby won’t stop crying because she needs you to hold her and your husband will be home soon, but then he has to leave right away and you told him you’d have dinner ready, and and and….AGGGHHHH. I think that it’s okay if you don’t enjoy that moment and I also think it’s okay if you look back in 10 years and don’t miss the really hard moments. I will miss my silly, giggly, talkative 2 year old. I will miss his crazy shenanigans. But I’m telling you guys, I won’t miss sleepless nights. I will miss the reason for them…the little boy who just wanted to snuggle me in the middle of the night…but I won’t miss being exhausted all the time or the headaches I get from being so tired. I will miss being woken up to that same cute boy who kept me up, but I won’t miss how hard it is to drag myself out of bed in the morning. I will miss my babies and I will miss these precious moments, but I am human and it is not possible for me to enjoy every single moment of being a mom. And I have a hunch that it’s not possible for you either. So if you ever feel bad because you didn’t enjoy your kids as much as you should have. Don’t. Don’t worry so much about it. Because I know that you love them. Other moms know. And most importantly, Heavenly Father knows…and your kids know. So try not to worry so much when you have those hard moments. Take a small break, in your closet if you have to, and you’ll enjoy the next one. I’m going to try really hard not to be bothered by this comment in the future, because I know that I am enjoying this time in our lives and I know that I am going to miss my sweet babies when they are gone. I know that when I have times that are hard to endure, that there will be better times ahead. The good outweighs the bad in this whole mommy gig. But, there is good…and there is bad. There is opposition in all things.

I promise that I will try to enjoy every moment, even the hard ones, but I also promise to try not to get too down on myself when I don’t. I promise not to think badly of another mom when she says her kids are driving her crazy. Because, I know she loves them.

Heavenly Father loves us. He loves us so much. He knows our hearts. So we don’t need to defend ourselves. Let’s just smile and nod at the strangers with the best intentions. They were there once, they raised kids and they didn’t enjoy every moment…so that’s why they want us to, because they wish they did. So to those lovely strangers, don’t feel so bad that you didn’t. You’re human… and there is opposition.

Hello Again

Oh hey, remember me? Over 2 years ago I received a challenge to start a blog to share my testimony with others and I’ve written 4 posts since then. Pretty pathetic, right? I have a lot of good reasons/excuses for not keeping up with it.
Reason #1 Instead of following through with what I feel inspired to write about, I say no. Reason #2 I’m afraid of what people will think about me.
Reason #3 I make a lot of excuses.

Let me explain better. I felt so strongly that I was supposed to start this blog when we received the challenge at the Relief Society Broadcast. I was not happy about it either. But I did it anyway. And a few times since then I wrote when I felt inspired. I wish I could say that I just haven’t been inspired since then and that’s why I haven’t shared. Not true. I have…and I have had the whole post written in my mind and instead of writing, I said no and tried to ignore what I was feeling. In the past few weeks I have been fighting with the feeling that I should write again. I have been wanting to scream NO! But, the problem with that is if I can continue to say no to inspiration, I’m probably going to stop receiving it. So it’s time I listen and share again.

“Reason #2 I’m afraid of what people will think of me.” Now this is probably not what you imagine. I’m not afraid (well not totally) that people will think I’m stupid or that I have dumb opinions or that I don’t know how to write. I’m not afraid that people will leave me mean comments (okay, I’m sort of afraid) or disagree with me. I’m afraid that people will get the wrong impression and think that I have it all figured it. I’m afraid people will assume I read my scriptures everyday like I should. I’m afraid people will think I never lack the faith to pray to my Heavenly Father. I’m afraid people will get the wrong impression. I don’t want people to think I have it all together, because I don’t. Not. Even. Close. I don’t want people to ever read my words and feel bad about themselves because they aren’t doing what I’m doing. As an example, I read a sweet blog post from a girl once about how to be a good wife. It was well written and came from her heart, but I walked away feeling like a failure. That is not what she intended and I know that. I was having my own personal struggles at the time and was not feeling good enough, so I immediately assumed she had it all together and that I would never be as good as her. I do not want people to think that. That is what scares me the most. Because, I struggle, I cry, I judge, I offend, I get offended, I selfishly take and don’t give as much as I should, I yell, I get annoyed….I struggle. And sometimes I struggle hard. But…I do also laugh, see the good in others, pray, choose not to take offense, love my husband, love my kids, stay patient and choose to be happy. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I have good weeks and bad weeks. Heck, sometimes I have bad months. But I do try. I’m just like you. So please don’t ever let my words make you feel like you are less than me. Because I promise you that you are good even when you struggle. I have so much to learn from all of you and feel so inadequate to share any of my thoughts and feelings or beliefs because I know how imperfect I am.

AND Reason #3 I make excuses. Enough said. I make a lot of excuses. I’m going to try to stop doing that.

I have felt the spirit so strong these past few Sundays as the talks were given and lessons were taught. One man spoke about missionary work and why we should share our beliefs with other people. Why we should not be afraid to reach out and talk about what is so important to us. He mentioned that one of the reasons it’s so scary to reach out is because people WILL break your heart. It’s inevitable. That’s why it’s scary to date, to make new friends, to open up, and to just be in any relationship really. Even the people we love the most will break our heart. So, when we have the desire to start a new relationship and make new friends, we’re afraid. We’re afraid of rejection and afraid of getting our hearts broken. We’re especially afraid to share the most important things about our lives. But, he also talked about the people who have gone before us, who have shared their beliefs openly…and he said “I guarantee you won’t be tarred and feathered. I guarantee you won’t be beat and hung on a cross.” It really hit me…people have gone before me and have shared their testimonies and they got more than just a rude comment on the internet, they were physically beat…their lives and the lives of their loved ones were threatened. But they still stood up for what they believed. I believe in God, I know he lives and loves me. I know that he was perfect and people still hated him and broke his heart. But, he loves them still.

I’m grateful for the knowledge that I have a loving Heavenly Father. I’m grateful to know that when everyone else has let me down, he is there to pick me back up. But, we have to let him. We have to invite him. If we do, he’ll be there. He wants to be there. As I work toward a better relationship with Heavenly Father this year, I invite you to come along. I invite you to pray to God and ask him for whatever you need. And don’t be afraid, because Heavenly Father will be so happy to hear from you.